America Punk'd

What is it with America being terrorized by children?

Did you catch the fact that the Somali "pirates" were a bunch of teenagers with AK-47s? When I read this, the first thing that occurred to me was that the 9/11 terrorists were also fairly young. This isn't entirely surprising, I suppose. Radical movements, like street gangs, are often populated by disaffected young people. But what is with the most powerful nation in the history of the world getting terrorized and hijacked by a bunch of punks?

Considering this, I wonder whether it is time to start a revolution. If a bunch of kids from the bronze age can terrorize America with surplus AK-47s and a crappy motor boat, why couldn't a bunch of militiamen fighting for America's founding principles conquer Washington, D.C.? (Note to Dep't of Homeland Security: I am not advocating armed rebellion, here; just making a point. Don't get your jack boots in a tiff).

The difference, of course, is that you can only bring America to its knees today if you are fighting against its founding principles. If you are weak little punks hailing from a backward nation that refuses to enter the 19th century, let alone the 21st, you can easily shame our President into genuflecting before you, apologizing for leading the strongest, most productive nation on earth, and allowing you to kick us in the ass for years while saying "thank you sir, may I have another." If you are fighting for freedom, individual rights, and the pursuit of happiness, our government would stamp you out like a bug. According to the morality of today, only the truly weak and pathetic can force America to turn the other cheek, for, as the good book says, the meek shall inherit the earth.

Still, if we got together a bunch of fat, bald guys and made them wear those silly pointed hats . . .